Dear Tumblr users who I don’t know in real life,
I really like seeing your personal posts, even the whiny angsty ones, and particularly the strange boring ones. I like these little windows into your lives even if I’ve never seen pictures of you and all I really know is that we like a few of the same tv shows. Please continue to let me read your to do lists and your conversations with strange relatives.
Stranger from the internet.
|1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?|
|2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?|
|3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?|
|4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?|
|5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.|
|6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?|
|7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?|
|8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?|
|9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?|
|10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?|
|11. Does love = sex?|
|12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?|
|13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?|
|14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?|
|15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?|
|16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?|
|17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?|
|18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?|
|19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?|
|21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?|
|22. Are you old fashioned?|
|23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?|
|24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?|
|25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?|
|send me numbers/.|
1. Take full responsibility for your life. Stop blaming others.
2. Do things you like to do. Don’t keep doing things you hate.
3. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts.
4. Be gentle and kind and patient with yourself.
5. Enjoy the…
It’s ironic the music selection playing right now considering things.
But since its my iPod and therefore a reflection of my inner self is it really that ironic?
When the music you listen to eats you alive.
And all the while his message just sits in my fb inbox like a bullet suspended in air right above my heart.
Funny how just yesterday I discomforted at no longer having your ear.
Now I’m discomforted by having your mouth.
Hey I hope you’re doing well.
Although last time we spoke I tried to tare you apart from the inside out.
I’m sorry. I’m just tired. And not in the mood for further mind fucks or emotional drains.
I cried today silently in my room.
The door was closed and I was alone.
I cried because I was too full.
And I didn’t want to continue to move the weight I was carrying around.
I cried until my eyes couldn’t.
There’s still no relief.
Our lives are never really what we expected them to be.They start off so simple. Needing only the right balance of food, water, warmth and love. But as we grow society starts to teach us who to be. Each part of ourselves is taught to us by an experience we’ve learned in life. Each experience we’ve gone through affects the people directly around us and people we’ve never met. This includes people in the future. Our sons and daughters if you will. They call this the ripple affect of time. I call it my room. You see I have these piles of things that I love. Mixed into those piles are the things I don’t love. Magazines, clothes, blankets, pillows, papers, movies, cd, etc are all complied into sections of my room not so tidily. Actually quite messily and sometimes spilling into each other while metaphorically correlating what is inside my head. Oh yes I am a mess of things I love and things don’t love but can’t seem to get ride of. The things I love are like he things I don’t love are blocking me from fully committing and pursuing what I do love. The stuff I don’t love but still carry around is negatively affecting the people I love and is negatively affecting me presently and in the future. So I’m cleaning my room. Simplifying my belongings. De-cluttering the sentimental things I hold on to but aren’t doing me any good, i.e. a copy of Corey’s playlist on my document files or old clothes or people’s roles in my life they aren’t actually fulfilling or my resentment towards people. I’m choosing not to look at this as just about me anymore. I want to do it myself but also for the people that I love today and the people I will love tomorrow. I’m going to need help but I promise to be better.
Enjoy your own company.